WHICH SONG IS YOUR REAL STUDY BUDDY?

SOME HATE IT:

"This music is pissing me off. I thought it would help me study instead I want to sleep."

"i failed my exams..i blame this shit"

"I have one thing to say. ZZZZzzzzzzzzzz....."

WHEREAS SOME LOVE IT:

This is like magic, I've managed an hour of concentration so far over the usual 5 minutes.

"This really helps me a lot. Personally, its hard for me to work in complete silence, so having this playing softly in the background helps me concentrate on my work. :) "

"Got a 3.625 GPA after the first semester because of this music helping me :) THank you so much :) You really helped me on my future to DeVry :') "

Above were some of the replies for the Brain Music video below. Some are happy, some are cursing and swearing. Definitely one man's food is another man's poison.

The big question we all have is if WHAT MUSIC IS OUR REAL STUDY BUDDY?

Well the old wives' tale told us that the Mozart Effect was powerful. Classical Music is the best way to go to enhance the super muscles of the brain. Well, latest studies helps us to know it is a myth.

"...in 2006 a large study was conducted in Britain involving eight thousand children. They listened either to ten minutes of Mozart’s String Quintet in D Major, a discussion about the experiment or to a sequence of three pop songs: Blur’s “Country House,” “Return of the Mack,” by Mark Morrison and PJ and Duncan’s “Stepping Stone”. Once again music improved the ability to predict paper shapes, but this time it wasn’t a Mozart effect, but a Blur effect. The children who listened to Mozart did well, but with pop music they did even better, so prior preference could come into it."

http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20130107-can-mozart-boost-brainpower

So Mozart, classical or instrumental music has a serious competition with POP music too.

Now what you need to know is that Pop music is not the real threat. The real threat is with CATCHY LYRICS AND "CAPTIVE" MUSIC.

When you hear words that are catchy in the songs, you mingle them with words that are in the textbook. Then it gets all screwed up. It is like being in a gym doing leg exercises and chest exercises at the same time expecting for the arm muscles to grow.

"Captive" Music on the other hand is related to Music that brings you old memories, distracting you from being in the full presence of your books. It drifts you away, disturbs your heart or even breaks you apart. It will help someone to think, for example, how they wll dance to this music when they are old and then start thinking about their grandparents and the story goes all the way back to childhood with their grandparents and them..."

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What you want to avoid in life is "SELECTIVE ATTENTION" whether you are with your phone on the road or with your Music with your Textbooks. You got to injure something or someone. To further help you understand about selective attention, click on the video and count the number of passes.

 

 

We all love music. People use music mostly for escape.

Escape from nagging, escape from stress, escape from boredom, escape from failures.

Yet to enhance your memory muscles, we need to disengage ourselves from "Escape Music" and choose "Entry Music". In other words, we choose Music that helps us focus on the words and information of the study materials. Stop choosing the wrong music and struggle and battle for memory. The right weapon is your right music.

What Kind of Music Helps You Study?

There are many types of music that have been shown to put your mind in study mode. Here are a few of the most mentioned.

  • Baroque classical music is said to have mind-boosting effects. Productivity writer David Allen of “Getting Things Done” fame has said he prefers music like Vivaldi’s “Four Seasons,” Bach’s Brandenburg Concerto #3, and other Baroque tunes.
  • Others say that music at 60 beats-per-minute is required to put the brain in a “bright and breezy” frame of mind. In this state your thinking and creativity are said to be easier. Concertos for Recorder – Telemann & Vivaldi is recommended.
  • Since classical music may not be your thing there are other types of music that have been shown to increase your concentration levels. Ambient music or sound is designed to keep your brain engaged at a lower, subconscious level. Waterfalls, rain, seashore, whatever your taste.
  • More modern electronic “Chill out” music genres such as Trip-hop, Nu jazz, Ambient House, Ambient Trance, New Age and other sub-genres of Down tempo are designed to relax the mind and allow it to roam.
  • Eno’s “Music for Airports” has been noted as being useful for serious studying and deep concentration. This music was designed to relax stressed out travelers at the airport and put them at ease.
  • Pop or Fast Music with lyrics, music or words that have no effect on distracting you will be another option.

"Entry Music" is like having  cupcake or ice-cream during dessert time. It is only for  period of the day that gives you the right food. You won't choose a full course dinner during dessert time right? You would have consumed that in a different time. It is time to change your diet. It is time to choose dessert during dessert time. Choose Entry Music for study.

Let Information really, truly enter you when you open your text books.

Enjoy Dessert




IT'S NOT MY FAULT! REALLY. IT'S NOT MY FAULT

*A blog highly recommended for parents, youths, kids, social workers and everybody.

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Korean saws his friend Kate coming from a distance...

“Why are you in a mess?”

“I fell down in a stupid drain”, Kate replies angrily.

 “What happened Kate?”

 “My stupid friend never tell me that there is a hole. The construction workers are idiots for not putting a warning sign over there. Bloody government got so much money to spend on doing stupid improvements at this point of time.”

 

 

 

THE EASIEST GAME TO PLAY IN LIFE IS CALLED THE BLAME GAME. You don’t need rules. You don’t need gadgets. You always think you won.

Let’s see how the Blame Game plays itself in the life of an Ex-Offender.

When an ex-offender does something wrong, the world points fingers in a few directions.

1.    This ex-offender has no brains

 “Can’t he think? Come on, he should know better that his friends are always a pest and a curse to him? Fool!”

2.    His friends have no brains

“Stupid friends. Already he came out of jail and now, they still want to bother him? Do they have no soul at all than to push their own friends into prison? What kind of friends are they”

3.    His family has no heart.

“The ex-offender might have done some wrong repeatedly in life, but do you have to totally ignore him, look down on him and treat him as the poster-boy for Dishonor”? Give him a break la!”

4.    The prison is useless

“The prison department talked about being “Captains of lives”. What are they doing with all the time inside with them?

5.    The society is to be blamed. Heartless society

“If the society has been not stigmatizing him, he would have changed long ago.”

6.    Uncaring government

“The government took all the money and never use it to help the ex-offender get a job. If not, he would have not does this mistake.”

 

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One of the greatest discovery for Personal Mastery is to identify, acknowledge and accept that we are responsible for all the mistakes in our life. It is we who are going to face the consequences for the choices we make.

"BUT, MY CHILDREN ARE REALLY AT FAULT"

It is easy to point your finger at your teenager and/or children and say “Accept Responsibility for your mistakes. It's all your fault.” But, before you do that, remember that Personal Mastery doesn’t apply to youths or kids yet. They are still at the beck and call of adults to coach them wise knowledge, rules and techniques and are at a further distance of reaching self-responsibility and ownership.

 

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Who said kids are always wrong?

One of the first thing for adults is to be aware that children are not always wrong. There was once I was trying to take a proper portrait of a 1 year old baby and just as I was trying to do that, her 3 year-old sister came into the picture. The grandmother shoved the 3-year old away telling her harshly not to block me from taking the photo. The 3-year old was jealous and she eventually kicked the grandmother in defiance. Eventually, the dad came over and punished his daughter and made her apologize to the grandmother which she did with tears profusely rolling down her cheeks.

From my perspective, I realized that the 3-year old was just being herself and she reacted in a negative manner when she was treated unfairly. Come on!  If your boss takes away a promotion that belongs only to you and gives it to another undeserving person, won’t you at least curse and swear?

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Rewind back your minutes. Look at the current week and reflect on how many times you have blame someone else or something else that went wrong.

I have been blamed this week by an unknown teacher who sent me a pretty short but piercing message in Facebook that 'a student was missing and it was that this thing was happening every time he comes to our program (but it was the first complaint I got over working 5 months in the school), and he further added salt to the injury by pushing the blame totally to us and he questioned us "is your advice and message not getting through??"

How easy was it for him to message me to just blame me totally than to investigate together and focus on finding the boy. Coming from a teacher who seemed above 50 years old from his Facebook profile, I found it immensely immature. He did nothing to accept responsibility even when the teacher is a co-form teacher of that student who has more chances to influence him than me who see the student once or twice for a few hours only. (By the way, the boy was in his Uncle's house since he did not have key to return home and he slept early when the family was searching for him.)

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I did not write this to blame anyone, but to leave an imprint on the need to ENDEAR SELF-RESPONSIBILITY, ENABLE SENSITIVITY and for adults to EMPOWER WISDOM and help children and youths learn the wise ways.  We are only human and we need to help each other up.

So how can we:

1.    ENDEAR SELF-RESPONSIBILITY

2.    ENABLE SENSITIVITY TO CHILDREN

3.    EMPOWER WISDOM TO YOUTHS

 

1. ENDEAR SELF-RESPONSIBILITY

Before we raise and point out fingers to others in every problem, can we step back and say, “How am I responsible for what went wrong?” You see EGO controls our statements and the actions. It is because of ego that we blame others than to humbly accept our part in it. If we can swallow our pride and see things from a bigger picture, we will know that we have faults too. We are only human.

 On top of that, we need to install a new belief and belief installation is a crucial element to develop values, attitudes, perspectives, behaviors, habits and character in our genes.

 

This is what you need to install: “IT'S EVERYBODY'S FAULT”.

What do I mean by “It’s everybody’s fault”? Once something goes wrong, many will jump to quick conclusions and blame others for the mistake. But if we know that everyone has a part to play in the mistake, INCLUDING US, we also will learn to point the finger to ourselves. Now, that’s the magic. People who realize that they are partially personally responsible will learn to recover from the blame game quicker than those who don’t. When we accept some responsibility, we will laugh it off, lighten the matter or even forget the matter.

Frankly speaking, isn’t it true that it is everybody’s fault?

 2. ENABLE SENSITIVITY TO CHILDREN

 

We cannot stop the fact that children will get themselves into trouble, but we can stop the fight by taking this four steps in every matter. We need to stop reacting harshly because children learn to do the same when they face a similar situation. So here is a simple strategy:

 

 

 

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A.   STOP!

a.    Stop and pause for a moment. Most things in life went nasty because of quick, hasty, unreasonable actions including posting a bad remark on Facebook immediately when it happens. Do not judge them immediately, but pause your anger for better things to happen in your household.

 

B.   STEP BACK!

a.    Take a step back to see things from a different perspective.

Ask questions like,

  “What if the child did that because someone else provoked the kid?”

  “What are some of the factors that could have influenced the kid to respond   in that manner?”

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   “How have I personally contributed to that bad influence?”

 

C.   SEARCH FOR ANSWERS

a. Investigate to resolve.

 “Search for answers” does not imply that there is a fault in the kid that we need to somehow identify and punish them for that. It is to investigate what could be actually the reason for the behavior they have shown and resolve it for everyone if possible or reconcile them together.


D.   SOFTEN YOUR APPROACH

a.   Be gracious. Act gracious.

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They could not be doing this because they love to be mean, but because they have been affected by something. Your value of showing compassion, sympathy, hope and trust could enable powers unto them to mend some of their ways. You don't need to instill fear all the time to show who you are. You can win them over by love.

Also dialogue with them even when they are so young in age. Seniority does not mean superiority and you know it all. Be humble and let them speak and try to resolve things by communication. Ask them how they feel about the whole thing and when they say they feel “sad”, don’t jump on them and blurt out, “You were supposed to feel guilty!” It is a pretty wrong approach. We communicate less because of ego. It's time to break our egos and prioritise communication more.

 

 
 

3. EMPOWER WISDOM TO YOUTHS

 

Youths struggle with responsibility and we don’t try to force-feed them with the statement, “Can you be responsible for your actions?” We can help them gain responsibility by showing them in every action we portray. When adults blame others for something, youths observe and do the same. For every action you show, you create a pattern for the youths to follow. So adults have to be very observant in your actions because every move counts.

They are watching, they are listening and they are repeating what you just taught them by your action. Empower them with positive actions. When you speak to children, they don't just listen with their ears. They listen with their lives.

(See this 1 minute 30 seconds video on "Children see, Children Do". It will change the way you behave at home, around your kids.)

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 WE ARE ONLY HUMAN

We are only human. We are weak. But it's ok to show others we are weak. That will break our egos. That will break broken relationships too. Blame game is a bad game. Start leaving the 'blame game zone' and move towards the "Flame game" zone. Flame unto others compassion, sensitivity, love, trust and hope

Try the "Flame Game”. It is not easy to win. But the points you get for winning is ten times more.

Below is a nice song by Christina Perri that has some soothing lyrics to what we are. We are only human.

 

I can hold my breath
I can bite my tongue
I can stay awake for days
If that's what you want

Be your number one
I can fake a smile
I can force a laugh
I can dance and play the part
If that's what you ask
Give you all I am

I
can do it
I can do it
I can do it

[Chorus]

But I'm only human
And I bleed when I fall down

I'm only human
And I crash and I break down

Your words in my head, knives in my heart
You build me up and then I fall apart

I'm only human, yeah

[Verse 2]
I can turn it on
Be a good machine

I can hold the weight of worlds
If that's what you need
Be your everything


I can do it
I can do it
I'll get through it


[Chorus]
But I'm only human
And I bleed when I fall down
I'm only human
And I crash and I break down
Your words in my head, knives in my heart
You build me up and then I fall apart
I'm only human, yeah

[Bridge]
I'm only human
I'm only human
Just a little human

I can take so much
Until I've had enough


[Chorus]
‘Cause I'm only human
And I bleed when I fall down
I'm only human
And I crash and I break down
Your words in my head, knives in my heart
You build me up and then I fall apart
‘Cause I'm only human, yeah

THE SECRET ABOUT "THE LION MEN" MOVIE

If you need to know the synopsis of "THE LION MEN", Channel News Asia has covered the storyline for us just today as the movie is released.

http://www.channelnewsasia.com/news/entertainment/jack-neo-turns-ah-boys/974190.html

As for me, I am going to share with you some interesting reflections I got from the movie. As the thousands of students who have heard my Motivational Talks, one will know the deep reflections I drew out from "Ah Boys To Men" to share Study Strategies, Life Missions & Visions & The Power of Values & Beliefs to inspire great lessons that can be empowered for living. This time, I went to see the movie with a mission to drew important lessons because I know that students love it when I use these movies to draw important points for their positive living and studying.

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I was surprised that I and only about 4 other Chinese Singapore youths went to the Cinema at 4.50pm at Bishan Golden Village although it was the day for the CNY Reunion Dinner. Hopefully, it will pick up the following week. Anyway, it was a total new experience of being in a ghost Cinema and having the movie all by ourselves. It was not spooky, just awkward.

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I would give a 3 out of 5 rating for the movie as this is not even a movie that should be enjoyed in Cinema. The sound effects were brilliant at the few action moves shown early part of the movie. Besides that, it was just a good story, not a great one. (At least I gave them a 3. Today Paper "just passed" them with 2.5/5 http://www.todayonline.com/entertainment/lion-men-255 ).

This movie also had many "LION MEN QUIRKS" that will tickle not your funny bone, but your 'weird' bone.  Here's why.

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  1. Firstly, the movie did not end and it will left everyone who leaves the Cinema cursing and swearing that the movie ended at the most critical moment, where the judges will only result of Tiger Crane's Lion Dance Performance in the competition in Part II. This is just in order to deliver suspense to suck up people's money to come for PART II.
  2. Part II is going to be a very predictable ending where "Mickey", aka "LO BANG" (Wang Weiliang) will get the gal from "Supreme" (Tosh Rock). "Mickey" will also win the competition and most likely "Supreme" will repent from his ways and reconcile with "Tiger Crane Clan".
  3. The story had a hilarious spinoff with Mickey wasn't envisioning or reflecting to overcome his fears, but hallucinating with his Lion Soft Toy (Photo Below) to help him achieve his goals of overcoming heights. This hallucination started when Mickey was drunk with Dexter Beer. Maybe the production was trying to tell us that Dexter Beer, (one of the sponsors of the movie), has power to invite people into the world of hallucination and even find answers through hallucination. How strange that a Soft Toy that became a Fierce dialect-speaking Robotic Lion that even pulled its stunt on top of Office Blocks in CBD was Weiliang's "Life Coach".
  4. Mickey also was converted by his Soft Toy to be "SingaChinese Spider Man" that will help him to discover that "Superheroes could be using masks to build their courage and talent". Him being a Superhero and flying off blocks was hilarious and I don't know why they had to spoil the show by doing these hilarious things.
Mickey's Soft Toy that did the "Coaching and Mentoring" for him to overcome his fears.

Mickey's Soft Toy that did the "Coaching and Mentoring" for him to overcome his fears.

SOFT TOY is no longer soft anymore.

SOFT TOY is no longer soft anymore.

Mickey the Superhero with the Super Suit, "Made In Singapore"

Mickey the Superhero with the Super Suit, "Made In Singapore"

Quirks aside, I feel that the actors did a decent job in the acting and especially hats off to Wang Weiliang aka Mickey who really pulled off his "innocent-boy" role. Tosh and Maxi Lim were not bad either in acting. The best actor award still goes to Chen Tianwen who did an amazing work with his acting. He was funny, action-oriented, familial, fatherly and fierce. The best part comes when he will fight one-on-one with the main villain from the "Black Hawk" Lion Dance Clan. I nearly fell off the chair of what that will happen hilariously during the fight.

So what is the Secret of this Movie that I mentioned about?

TOSH VS WEILIANG. THINK AGAIN

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People will think that the movie is between Supreme (Tosh) and Mickey (Weiliang) who used to be brothers in the same Lion Dance Clan and has broken up their brotherhood over a girl or about the which Lion Dance clan is the best among the rest.

BUT NO! The movie is not about them. The movie is about "Values and Beliefs".

VALUES AND BELIEFS?

"Supreme" left the clan because he desired WINNING & SUCCESS over loyalty. He wants to have a clan that wins the competition than a "family" where loyalty is a great priority. And he believes that CREATIVITY is key to the SUCCESS he was searching for Tiger Crane Lion Dance group. On the other hand, "Mickey" believes that LOYALTY, HARD WORK & PERSEVERANCE is SUCCESS in his 'Lion Men' journey.

If you realize, the movie is not about different Lion Dance groups, or between Mickey vs Supreme. It's about the conflict of VALUES AND BELIEFS.

People like Martin Luther King Jr, Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Winston Churchill, and even the Lord Jesus Christ are recognized today because they were faithful to their ideals and beliefs in life. No matter what assaults, physically and emotionally, they got in life, they did not give up. And the values the big leaders highlighted in their live were the same anchors that were highlighted in this movie.

LOYALTY. FOCUS. PERSISTENCE. HARD WORK. RESILIENCE.

Mickey making good for for the Master

Mickey making good for for the Master

LOYALTY

The Tiger Crane members were united still when "Supreme" stomped out of the clan when Master He did not agree in breaking the norms and adding Hip-Hop into the Lion Dance. Master He (Chen Tianwen) desired loyalty because of Tradition. (The Clan has been the same for 80 years). But his boys desired loyalty for a more higher cause. It was not for tradition they expressed loyalty for, but because they love their Master.

No matter what differences they had with the Master's views, the Master was still the most important man. Today, we are in a generation where when parents and adults express their thoughts on important things, but kids rebel against that. As what "Supreme" did, they walk out of the house in disrespect. And not just kids, many of us want things our way and if we don't get it, we walk to get things our own way because faithfulness is Secondary and maybe irrelevant.

To me, accepting the differences and still honoring the "Master" was a valuable lesson to learn in this world where it is easier to walk out, then to stay and fight the journey of respect, obedience and compliance. We don't have to give blind loyalty, but we need to start revering loyalty and faithfulness to a great level. 

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FUSION CAN LEAD TO CONFUSION

There was once I heard that "Fusion Can Lead To Confusion". When I saw the movie, I found that the new additions of cheer-leading acts, pole-walkers, rap, hip-hop and glamor to the Lion Dance by the "Storm Riders" did not catch me by the storm. It adulterated the whole real identity of the Lion Dance and they incorporated so much creativty that it became more of a confused circus show that a good, pure Lion Dance.

But, that is what Supreme believes that wins the hearts of men. He was not wrong.

We are in the world that we want novelty, variety and new sights. (Thanks to the large contribution to Media). Having variety and novelty is not wrong. But forgetting the old is.

Life has build us strength, courage and wisdom because what we got from old. When we grow up, we make wise decisions because of the what the old has taught us. Eva Cheng once told her dad (Chen Tianwen), "Not to be old-fashioned", but imagine if he brings home one girl a day and sleeps with them in front of his teenage daughter. Can he rebound and say, "I am living the life of the latest fashion"?

Master He did pushed for tradition to be uprooted, and many a time, old-fashion is good. Because by keeping to old-fashion, one gets to exhibit and enjoy LOYALTY. FOCUS. PERSISTENCE. HARD WORK.  RESILIENCE. 

Mickey (WeiLiang) was captivated more about hard work and focus when the dreamgirl of his life (Eva Cheng) told him what she really looked for in a man.

Mickey (WeiLiang) was captivated more about hard work and focus when the dreamgirl of his life (Eva Cheng) told him what she really looked for in a man.


 LOYALTY. FOCUS. PERSISTENCE. HARD WORK.  RESILIENCE. 

We are in a life that we cannot run away from  LOYALTY. FOCUS. PERSISTENCE. HARD WORK.  RESILIENCE. They are the pillars of a strong "Character-Backbone". The world is force-feeding us to find shortcuts and to get away with the long processes in life. It is force-feeding us to avoid hardwork if possible. It is force-feeding on us to do 10 things at one time. It is force-feeding for us to get quick results. It is force-feeding to win, win and win. We learn to be multi-talented and successful but we gain it at the expense of assimilating important values in life. We need to choose what are the most important values that we need to have in this distracted world and no matter what the rest of the world chooses, we must never let go of these 5 pillars: " LOYALTY. FOCUS. PERSISTENCE. HARD WORK.  RESILIENCE."  

Values and Beliefs are the cornerstone of our lives' success and we need to cultivate that really brings far ahead in life. These 5 pillars are not just good values, but Award-Winning Values and Beliefs.

During the competition, at the end of the movie, the judges were impressed with the Creativity and Talents exhibited by "Black Hawk" and "Storm Riders" because they were pleasing to the Eye. The "Tiger Crane Clan" were not impressive in their act, but the judges were impressed that they did not give up even when they were at the verge of falling down. They pulled themselves up and exhibited great  LOYALTY. FOCUS. PERSISTENCE. HARD WORK.  RESILIENCE. Tiger Crane pleased the judges in their Heart, not their eye.

EYE VS HEART

The question is, are we trying to please the "EYES of the world" around us or the "HEART of people"?

We want to stun people to look at what we can do and what we can be by pulling off stunts, especially in the world of Social Media. In Facebook we look good, but are we that good in our homes, in front of our loved ones when they see us? When we visit our relatives during CNY, we talk all about the promotion, the status, the privileges, the upgrading in our lives but what that helps others to activate the heart. What are we really interested in? For people to see the superficial beauty of ours or the ugly, yet meaningful truth that illuminates the truth?

Seek not the EYE my friend, but the HEART.

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IN CONCLUSION

Mickey has definitely taught us some good values in this movie and definitely, they are very valuable to me. I was saddened by his image in "Ah Boys To Men" because he (Wang Weiliang) was a role model to many students in Singapore, but the model he exhibited brought wrong values.

I asked my students on a survey, "Who they liked in the movie 'Ah Boys To Men'. Many desired Lo Bang (Weiliang) and I asked "Why"? This was one of the most classic answer.

"I love Lo Bang because I see him as people like us. From start just want to slack around, but in the end he had success to go OCS. He didn't know he was capable leading a troop. He is smart, funny and easy going."

My student believed that being slack could still lead her to success because Jack Neo ended with the idea that Lo Bang got into the Officer Course (OCS), in spite of being rebellious.

However Weiliang redeemed himself in "The Lion Men" that is "LOYALTY. FOCUS. PERSISTENCE. HARD WORK.  RESILIENCE."  that brings him across far in life. He shall continue to emphasize them in PART II and in the talks he is going to give in schools

He is definitely going to be a good role model to many of our youths this time round and as he goes around schools to present, and may he and the team anchor these values to them as I will be doing in my TALKS in schools

Kudos to "THE LION MEN" team! Kudos to LOYALTY. FOCUS. PERSISTENCE. HARD WORK.  RESILIENCE.